Should You? Or Could You?

As we gather under the archway to Fall, many of us are craving the comforts of routine & self-care.

The ongoing upheaval of our times continues to call for our engagement and whether we’ve wanted to or not, we’ve been drawn to take sides and take stands. We care — of course we care — yet we are also collectively exhausted and in many ways, we still yearn for the comfort of former normalcy. For many, though, reaching for the “old normal” might now feel unsatisfactory. Partly because big issues awaken new personal values — things we may not have prioritized before are whispering for space. 

Living out of line with one’s values breeds anxiety & stress. As we recalibrate, we may feel resistance to old tools and grapple with a sense of disappointing expectation. What used to work for us — or what works for others — may not align anymore.  When we notice this uncertainty, we may choose to lean into new possibility or we might instead hold ourselves or others in contempt for no longer fitting the model. Have you noticed this dance?

Whether you’re struggling to get back to routines for health, hesitant about reconnecting as restrictions are lifted or feeling pressure to support calls for social justice, it’s important to watch the “should-ing”. When you tell yourself (or are told) that you “should” feel/believe/behave in a way that you’re not, this is saying that you are failing on some level. The subconscious response to this shame causes the body to close up, defend, restrict or repress. Alternatively, choosing language in favour of potential and forgiveness yields the opposite response. 

As we transcend the season together, I invite you to gently place your “should’s” aside and try your “could’s” instead. Consider a practice of asking your body what it needs each morning. Notice what feels restrictive and what feels expansive. By moving with curiosity — and allowing others the same freedom — we may begin to feel life opening to us rather than struggling against a one-size-fits-all structure. This wisdom of body not only has the power to move us towards health, but perhaps even a reunited community. 

May you feel open, well and compassionate. Happy Equinox. 
-Alicia